My job has, I'm sure, moved me 10 years closer to diabetes.

There's something about an elementary school that seems to provide a constant flow of sugars and sweets, all within my grasp. At first I was like a kid set free in a candy store -  eyes wide, heart racing, arms reaching out in every direction. Free candy! Free happiness! Where is it all coming from? Will it ever stop?

It turns out the answer is no, it will never stop. Just as I think the sugar infused goodness that crowds my office has been removed, a child has a birthday and there are leftover cupcakes, or the Kindergarten has baking day and some cinnamon rolls are left unclaimed. 

I live a hard life. 

Having grown up in a house where candy and sweets were literally locked away, and the most exciting item in the panty was a bottomless box of Nilla Wafers, I seem to have developed an inability to turn down sugar. I've heard that children who grow up in those sad, suffering Romanian orphanages experience something similar, if not a bit more extreme. Due to their lack of proper nutrition as a baby, a permanent starvation awareness switch is flipped on in their brain. For the rest of their lives they need to know that they have the availability of food, that it belongs to them, and that can be eaten whenever they like, or they go into survival mode. 

Not unlike me with candy. Is there candy in the house? Why not? What sin have I committed that caused the candy to be taken from me? Can I go get the candy? Can I eat the candy? 

It's perfectly normal. 

No questions, just love.


  1. I think you may be on to something! IT seems the Crookston girls indeed have a sugar addiction.

  2. Everything is so so so so so so so so SO SO TRUE.

    Also, there is an incredible typo saying that nilla wafers are hiding in the deepest part of your panty... and I don't want you to fix it.

    Hehehehe. Panty.