Why is it that a discussion of your most embarrassing moment and your biggest pet peeves seems to come up when meeting someone new? "Here, let me tell you my most red-faced stories and the things I find most annoying, it will forge an unbreakable bond between us." Ok, it doesn't really bug me that much, I actually kinda like hearing embarrassing stories cause it breaks the ice and it's good to know someone's pet peeves so I can keep my gum snapping in check. The issue is that I can never seem to come up with any stories to share or lists to run through in the moment, so I have decided to compose my pet peeves here for easy reference. Embarrassing stories to come.
1) Identical Rhyming: When a word is "rhymed" with itself.
•Emma's Dilemma, the children's book I walk past each day at work. Emma's Dilemma? Really? Maybe I should be willing to let this one slide as it is a children's book, but the peeve remains nonetheless.
•"Ours" by Taylor Swift. "Stranger's silence makes me wanna take the stairs, if you were here we'd laugh about their vacant stares." Oh yeah? Your lack of rhyming skills makes me wanna pop some pills! Take that, t-sweezy!!
Just for the record, I love Taylor Swift. She's the celebrity who, were we to meet in real life, I'm convinced would be my BFF.
2) The misuse of "me" and "I," especially in photo captions.
|My roommates and I at the park!|
No. Stop it. You are wrong. "My roommates and me at the park." Another common misuse would be "Jennie and me went to the store." No. Stop it. Wrong.
Don't worry, I will tell you how to know what is right without getting into grammar technicalities: take the other people out of the sentence and see what you would say. When we do that, this is what your photo captions/tweets just said: "I at the park!" & "me went to the store." Oh hey, you just regressed to a caveman. What you should have said was "Me at the park!" or "I went to the store."
Let's take a quiz.
1. (photo caption)
A) My co-workers and I at an ugly sweater party.
B) My co-workers and me at an ugly sweater party.
A) Come to the store with Jennie and I.
B) Come to the store with Jennie and me.
A) Marva and I went to the movies.
B) Marva and me went to the movies.
Answers can be found at the bottom of this post. Now never get it wrong again.
3) I don't know how to sum it up, so just read it.
I remember playing at Josephine's house in Minnesota, so I was like five, and I wanted to get her slip-n-slide out. However, I didn't want to ask her mom because, well, I just didn't. I didn't feel like I had enough authority or something. So, as any child would do, I asked Josephine to ask her mom. This is how it panned out:
"Hey mom?! Sadie wonders if we can get the slip-n-slide out!?"
Perfect. The point of me asking you to ask was so that she didn't know I was actually asking. Thanks for blowing that one.
4) Unnecessary movie sequels with different actors for main characters.
5) The class member whose hand never goes down
If you must know, I have dedicated much of my time to analyzing the relationships I would have with various Harry Potter characters. As a die-hard Potter lover, it kills me to say it, but I'm not sure I'd be best friends with any of them, and I straight up know I wouldn't get along with Hermione. You guys, she doesn't understand sarcasm, she has no patience for procrastination, and she will never admit to being wrong. This is probably because she never is wrong, but that in itself would drive me insane.
There is one habit of Hermione's that drives me particularly insane: she has to answer every question in every class. Girl, give your arm a break! I cannot stand it when one person in class is continuously making comments. For the love, there are 30-250 other people in this class, and I promise that they have comments as well. Just because they don't shoot their hand into the air quite as quickly as you doesn't mean they wouldn't speak were they given the chance. Eventually everyone else is going to stop thinking of answers. Put, your hand, down.
6) Chewing with your mouth open.
You eat with your elbows on the table? Great, me too. Make the slurpy noise at the end of your drink? Don't care. I really don't have any food-related pet peeves, but if you are chewing with your mouth open, so help me, I will get up and move out of earshot, because I'm pretty non-confrontational like that.
In conclusion, I will list some traits I have that may very well drive you insane:
• Popping fingers
• Snapping gum
• Trailing the ends of my sentences
• Never using coasters
• Neglecting to rinse dishes before putting them in the dishwasher
• Asking for one of your fries
So yeah. Maybe now you have a better idea of what our friendship would be like. Would we drive each other insane? On that note, Taylor Swift, if you ever read this, I promise we would be kindred spirits. Call me.
quiz answers: (1)B (2)B (3)A