Summer Heat

Courtesy of my Brother, Dan: 


Now that it's summer in Boston, you may want to review these short, easy steps to installing a window A/C unit:
1. Go into the basement where you stored it last fall. There will be spiders and centipedes - do not go unprepared.
2. Reel in horror at the amount of cobwebs and detritus that can accumulate in a single season. Swear to yourself that you will clean this place up some day, while knowing in your heart that you never will.
3. Throw out your back when lifting the A/C unit. Curse the gods that set you on this cruel path.
4. While halfway up the narrow, treacherous stairway that leads from the pit of despair which mortals call "your basement", feel a searing pain in the index finger of your left hand. Grit your teeth and climb the rest of the way - there's no room to set the damn thing down just because you cut your finger.
5. Drop the A/C unit unceremoniously in your superheated bedroom. Check out your finger. Realize it's not a cut, it's a spider bite, and it's quickly going from "ouch" to "excruciating, and why do I feel dizzy?"
6. Wake up in the emergency room. The sweet, blessedly cool emergency room. Your left hand has so much gauze on it that it could pass for an albino watermelon. (Yes, albino plants do exist.)
7. Get discharged and walk home under the cruel, burning eye of the ancient and unforgiving god. Hear his laughter as you walk past your window and realize... the damned air conditioner still isn't installed.

Congratulations! You are now a resident of Boston.



What are you doing to survive summer heat? Me? I've managed to survive by spending 12 hours a day at work/in class. It does wonders.


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